This is just a game.
Pretty standard stuff. Until I turn on the microphone. -Would you like some pizza?
-(SCREEN PINGS) -Money perverts everything.
-(SCREEN PINGS) At this point, I can stand
to be a little perverted. Oh! Uh, kittens! Puppies!
United Nations! I will help you by building
an internet that is of the people,
by the people, and for the people,
so help me God. (APPLAUSE) Way to punch Big Tech
in the dick! The new Hooli will be
significantly smaller, and we need to reduce costs. GAVIN BELSON: What is going on? Why is their logo
bigger than ours? We need to fix this. (GASPS) A man offered us
a billion dollars. MONICA HALL:
We cannot take his money. These guys executed people
in soccer stadiums. To our future endeavors
together. RICHARD HENDRICKS:
What was that? Ugh, the birds.
They’re attracted to the trees. So sometimes, they…
(MIMICS THUD) (CHUCKLES)
What are you gonna do? JARED DUNN:
Pied Piper isn’t the same
company that I signed up for. She has different needs now. We are in the middle
of a shitstorm. All I wanted to do
was be a golden millionaire. A millionaire that gets peed on? I can see you making half that
happen. I think we’re even more fucked
than you are. This may be a chance
to help each other out. -What do you say?
-Isn’t it obvious? I say… No! Fuck no! Hey, Richard. Did you order
4,000 pounds of beef? Bolt the doors. The others
can’t help us now. We could all go to prison. Enjoy the injunction. -(RETCHES)
-(SCREAMS) You little, little bitch! I– I’m sorry, Jared. I– Hey, hey! This is a place
of business– -Oh, my God.
-I pump lead! Peckerwood motherfucker! -What is this?
-Russfest. It’s gonna be like Burning Man, except I’m gonna make
a fuck-ton of money. So… Earning Man? I literally love you,
you spooky fuck. So are we in?