Lies that Programmers tell | The Mediocre Coder

Lies that Programmers tell | The Mediocre Coder


You are fired!! Get out!!! Hey. Hello World! How are you? You saw what happened, right. Fired… Fired from the job Few lies and I am out… Do you want to hear what I have lied about? Come then… May I come in, Sir? What am I hearing from the testing department? Sorry sir Do you know how many bugs you are assigned by the testing department? And more by clients… Now go to your desk, solve all the issues & I want the build finished by the end of the day Do you understand? GO! This app is getting crashed again & again. Please check it. Crash? Let me check on my phone. It’s working here. Look, its crashing. It’s working on my system. Please check it once more from your side. How did it crashed? It’s crashing again. Crashing? Again? It was working nice, yesterday. Let me check it once more. Shit, I forgot to add comments to that code. When I try to enter the password for login, it is showing the password. What? Dude, the password is visible. There should be dots. It’s a bug. Please fix it. It’s not a bug, it’s a fetaure. Its client’s requirements. It’s a feature. feature?? Yes!! Client said that? Why is it taking to much time to log in? What? Let me see. Shit! I forgot to remove the comments. Server could be down. As a result, its taking time. Okay. Shit! Shit! Shit! Number of testers are testing the application and accessing the resources at the same time. As a result, its getting crashed. We have to find a solution. We’ll never face that situation. Why not? Chill! Will never face it. Who is going to download this app? 10-15 downloads, maximum. What if they increase? Then we would inform the users to tilt the phone. That might work. Its not a scooter, that you tilt it, and it starts running. We have to do something. Nothing will happen. Take a chill pill. Take this and check other functionalities. Nothing will happen. Its not showing anything after login. There should be something according to the design. That’s a hardware issue. Since there is no graphic card, it does not support any design. Its a phone. Where the hell did graphic card came from? Screen could be an issue. It’s a hardware issue. Pathetic phone, I must tell you. How do I solve that? I have checked the app. You have added the comments, haven’t you? Comments? This code is self-explanatory. I’ve written it myself. There is no need to write separate documentation. Only God knows what I’ve written. Ssshh! It’s boss. Hello, Kushal. I want to know the status of the project. Is it done? Y..Yeah.. And what about the new CR that the client has approved 1 week ago? New CR?? New CR… Yes Sir. Done. Have you checked it on all devices? Yes sir. There is a webpage in the app. Have you checked it on all browsers? Y..ye…yes sir I have checked it, of course. Ok, I am checking it on Internet Explorer. Nooooo….. You are FIRED!

8 thoughts to “Lies that Programmers tell | The Mediocre Coder”

  1. Hello dear I also doing engineering diploma from IT branch is this good???
    Pls tell bro??

    And lots of love for ur videos 👍

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