hi guys so today I'm going to be talking about getting a job and having a job with social anxiety I don't have anything planned for this video like I haven't written anything out which I normally do so I apologize if this video is kind of all over the place so around like May of last year I realized I was 19 and I had never had a job and I needed money and so I was like you know what like why not buy and get one like I just need to like do it and the main thing that I was really scared about was the interview obviously I was scared about the job at the main part was the interview so I went online and like applied for a bunch of things not really expecting anything from it but then I got a couple of like emails and calls about how like getting an interview so one place that I applied at I'm not gonna say the name of it I've said it in other videos but I just don't want to like relate the name in this video it would it's pretty much like Walmart but like Walmart and Costco so they sell like food in like bulk and also like home decor and stuff like mainly food but they also sell like home decor and like clothes and stuff like that I applied as a cashier there a couple days later my phone was ringing and it was from just like a random number and I was like oh boy I better answer it so I did and it was this store like asking for it I was like yeah okay and the interview was at 9:00 in the morning like it was like two days later so I was really glad that it was not like a week later because then I would have been like so stressed about it that night I was so so nervous and I was going and watching a whole bunch of videos of like job interview tips and stuff and like all these like common job interview questions and like preparing my answer for them I was so stressed and I got my mom to drive me because at the time I didn't have a car and the whole way there I was just like so stressed but I was kind of like convincing myself that I didn't want to get the job but if I didn't wouldn't be disappointed also I had a friend that had worked at that store for a couple of years so I messaged him on Facebook he knows like asked him if it was a good place to work and stuff and he said it was and I told him who my interview was with and he said that that was one of the nicest managers there and she seemed really nice on the phone so that helped also I'm glad it wasn't a male because men really intimidate me for some reason I don't know I went to the front desk and I was like so scared and I was like um I have an interview where like what do I do and he like told me he's like you know what he's I mean he's like oh there's been a lot of you today and I was like awesome so there's been a lot of us I probably won't get it and then I saw her and like as soon as I like she said hi I was like a lot relaxed because she was so nice I sat down I was like so scared and we went into this like big room and for some reason the fact that it was a big room it made it a lot more scary and it was the weirdest thing she like didn't ask me like any questions she basically just called me in to like give me the job oh yeah I did put on my resume that I was in the queer Straight Alliance at school and so I think that's what got me the interview because she asked me what that was and what we did so I just kind of explained to her what we did in that and she was seemed like pretty impressed with that and then she just was like okay I need to do a criminal record check I went out and I was like totally relieved because it went like way better like she didn't ask me a single interview question anyway she finally called me I was like are you still interested and I was like well yeah so I forgot to mention this is like a huge part of this video um what I did when I was going into the interview is I kind of do this thing in situations where I'm really anxious like socially anxious is I just kind of pretend that I'm somebody else and I'm not me and cuz if I'm like oh and Monica like I can't talk to people without crying um I just kind of do like a Hannah Montana and like be like no I'm this girl that's confident I just kind of like pretend that I'm someone else and it really helps so I'm gonna be talking about that later on because I definitely took that persona when I was at work I had like a couple training sessions and so I was with this really good trainer I loved her so much she just kind of like the first day ran me through some basics of like cashiering and then I like practice like she closed a lane and I like practice like scanning things and then the next day like we talked about some more things and that we were like standing there and she's like okay so now I'm gonna take a few orders and you can do it and I was like good I mean so she was like you just watched me like I stood behind her she's like watch me and then when you feel comfortable enough you can step in I'll stay here the whole time but like just let me know when you feel comfortable enough so I was just like standing there for like a long time finally she's like are you like ready and I say not yeah no I don't think I quite get it yet and then finally I did and it was the most terrifying thing I've ever done I'm just I can't ask someone how they are or like I act like so rude to people because of my anxiety and people probably think that I'm so rude and like stuck up in such a bitch because I hardly talked to people and like smile them or like make conversation and it's not because they don't want to it's just because like I can't so anyway I'm like trying to do this like my hands are shaking so bad and it's very obvious and all the different produce codes I was trying to remember and you have to enter them in their four digits and like my fingers are shaking too bad to do it and like looking through the like list trying to find the like item I'm looking for for the next two shifts after that she stood with me the whole time she'd start like getting farther and farther away and she'd be like oh I'm just gonna go like help this person or do this or put this away and that's like kind of how she did it she's eventually like wasn't there and I did have a thing on my like number saying like cashier in training which was even more embarrassing because people like like oh you're doing good like don't worry like you're doing awesome and stuff like that which like it was really helpful because some people are like super nice about it they're like you're doing great don't worry and that was really helpful okay on to like the part of like how I handled having a job with social anxiety I do want to make it known that I did quit three months later because it was too much it got to the point where even when I'd have a day off I couldn't relax cuz I just thought about the next one and I'd like cry on the way there because I didn't want to do it and so I did eventually quit I didn't even I wasn't the one to do it I got my mom to phone and tell that I quit which is like the worst thing you can possibly do because now I have three months of cashier experience and I was like I was really good at it and I can't even put that on my resume because I normally worked four or five hour shifts which actually went by really fast I had a 15-minute break in the middle and it was actually pretty easy at the beginning because I went in like I am NOT Monica I am somebody else and I'm just gonna pretend that I'm someone that's confident and it did actually work for a while um I just totally also what helped is the area that I worked in was different from where I live and like grew up so I didn't really know anyone there and like I never really saw anyone that I knew which was a plus like a huge plus one of my big things was that I don't want to work somewhere where people that I went to school with go to because I don't know why that's just like the worst situation this is where it gets really really busy because it is the only one in the city that I live in and they have like really good deals and like big bulk sales and stuff and it was like summer time so everyone is like going camping and stuff and getting all this like food for camping and like cookouts and like stuff like that so it got super busy and the lineups got so long and people don't just get a couple things at this store like they get like 300 400 dollars worth of food and they're all mad because they've been in there for a long time so I definitely learned a lot about working in like with general public and very interesting so I did have people be really rude to me normally I'm the type of person that if someone is rude to me I just take it but I realized that I couldn't I don't know like if someone's rude to me outside I take it but in my head I like don't allow it at all and I'm really angry so I come across as someone that like oh they can just be mean to her whatever but like I don't do anything about it but I do get really hurt and mad and upset it was one of my like first shifts by myself and store had a thing I think a lot of stores do this where if some other store has like a flyer and say like oranges are on sale there you can bring the flyer and get the oranges at our store for that stores price and I didn't know how to do that and the guy didn't really speak English at first I didn't even understand what he was trying to say and then finally I did and I like I was like I don't know how to do it and he's like yes you do and I'm like well no I know and I'm gonna have to call someone he's like no you just do it I'm like I can't just do it I don't know what I'm doing and he are really mad and I almost started crying because of the way he talked to me um but I didn't I had one guy tell me on a really busy day he's like I chose your line because I thought you were gonna be fast but now I just want to kill myself and I was like and it wasn't even my fault I had a difficult customer before so it was very difficult most days I didn't want to go but I was like money I need money I'm 19 and I have zero money the worst times were when it was really dead and like I actually people tried to make conversation with me because they knew that like nobody was behind them in line I'm just bad at having conversations cuz all I do is just smile and like fake laugh and people like are like okay like people learn not to talk to me very fast at like school or like anything because that's what I do that would happen a lot so people be like how was your day and I mean like good maybe like how are you and I'd be like good something interesting that I found was the nicest people they came through were my age if you want to complain about Millennials the nicest people and the most understanding people when the meanest like rudest people were the old people so I just found that very interesting there were a bunch of older people that were very nice so so anyway my overall experience of a job with social anxiety obviously it was not good because I only lasted three months I'm very proud of myself for trying it and even applying for jobs I didn't expect to get any calls or anything because I had not like no experience on my resume you can see on my resume that I graduated from high school in 2015 and I feel like being the age I am and having nothing no work experience on my resume it probably looks really weird the last time I went there like I didn't know what was gonna be my last time and then my mom quit for me like 30 minutes before my shift was supposed to start the manager called me and after it was like I just wanted to know like if you're okay if something happened and I never flown her back and I feel really bad but I haven't been to that source since I'm kind of do scared let me know what other anxiety videos you want me to do or like if you want me to talk about anything specific about having a job thank you guys for watching and check out my other anxiety videos down below I have a playlist of them if you want to see them and


  1. hey guys! i just did an update video on how my social anxiety is now and how its improved, watch it here – ! <3

  2. Im the same got to go to my new job tomorrow and Im terrified but just think fake it till you make it. Like just swallow everything for a couple of hours and just breathe. More people go through this than your aware or and soon enough youll be used to it and youll overcome it.
    At the end of the day if you got through the interview then they like you and want you to work for them so thats something to focus on. Just put on a brave face and try think about the money.
    * Dont put a job before mental health *

  3. i'm 17, i've had one job so far in retail of all things. there was many triggering things for panic attacks there. i had to quit after a few months. i'm at that point where i have to think about my future and honestly i don't think college is for me based on multiple reasons. so i'm trying to think about jobs but SO many have to do with social things which i literally cannot do. but i know i have to and i'm really really stuck.

  4. Im 18 almost 19 and havent had a job since I was 17. I was so akward and I never wanna be in an environment feeling weird again. So its hard but i know i need to push myself out of my comfort zone…

  5. yesterday was my first day doing work. It should be a good job because i just put clothes away and such but I cried that night because i'm so scared, I feel like all my co workers already don't like me, I didn't handle a customer properly, every time I talk I have to repeat myself bc I'm so quiet, I forgot to ask my manager an important question and now I have to make a phone call. 🙁 The worst part of this is I know i'm being overdramatic but i just can't stop myself from being scared. I'll be going to college and making appointments soon and I feel horrible because everything, even going to the store, is terrifying. It's always been this way, only now i can't get away with it because i'm not a kid anymore.

  6. I can relate to this 100%! My past managers would always comment on how good of a cashier I am but the entire time I was dying on the inside. I also do the role play thing too. I have this really confident friend and I ask myself “what would she do in this situation”

  7. I used to work at a grocery store, and it was brand new and it didn't have the best choice of employees. They made me lead of the whole produce section, I have severe social anxiety, when customers would come to my section and I would be stocking it I would just go completely catatonic with fear. Its the type of fear that literally hurts, and you want to escape from it. I lasted about 2 weeks at that job.

  8. I feel like a failure I need a job because i’m really broke but whenever I go to interviews I always fail them 😔

  9. I have generalized anxiety disorder and I made the biggest mistake of working at McDonald’s for my first job. I was doing fine at first working as the cashier and like the person that puts food in the bags. But at McDonald’s the cross train all their workers. At first it was just a little nervous feeling going to work until one day I was balling my eye out in the car and then at work. After that day I was let on “leave” and I haven’t go back since then and now I’m basically nervous to work at all. (I also only worked their for like 3 months or so) so now I work at the fish reserve (locals like me call it the fish ladder) and now just thinking about it cause a small paniced feeling and idk what to do anymore cause I want a job but just thinking about working makes me anxious. I also have a bad fear with failure and not being perfect at what I do cause I don’t want people to laugh at me or thinking I’m not good at what I do

  10. I'm the same but my parents force me to have a job "if I want to stay under their roof". Which is understandable, but it's not like I'm a couch potato; I'm a college student and suffer with really bad social anxiety. I just have to suck it up, or kill myself. Right now I'm just waiting until I have enough money saved to retire and go live in a little house in the woods or something. What a sad life. I recognize myself so much in your story.

  11. I have the same situtation right now im just so fucking anxious i cant seem to talk and make conversation I’m so nervous and just wanna run out and just go jump of a bridge it sucks 😢😢

  12. In Belgium most of the times you have to speak dutch and french fluently to get a job. Even though I had French for 10 years at school, I still suck at it and it’s so stressful…

  13. Youre so lucky that you only have social anxiety i have severe shyness and im so shy in order for me to look id have to wear pitch black sunglasses and a mask

  14. Word of advice for those who have a combination of Social Anxiety and Struggle with Math. Apply to be a Stocker at your local Grocery store, you just stock shelves all day, memorize the isles in the store in case someone does ask where certain products are. It's a great job for those with anxiety, very low stress.

  15. I have anxieties bad real bad so what do for living is clean houses and now my friend is trying and helping me working at pet shop i would bathe the dogs i like it but idk if i can cut there nails our groom because I'm scared i don't want to hurt the dogs so i always try not to do the nails and grooming and we need to make schedules and pick up phone calls and that is a nightmare because i need to talk to people and i try so hard to not let my anxieties show but people can be mean still with me because I'm slow and have some anxieties attack and people would get mad at me o.o

  16. Girl i can definitley relate to you. Im glad u posted a video. It have me closure that my feelings are validated and that even tho i dont know anyone who feels the way i do, there are people in this world who understand and go thru the same feelings and thought processes.

  17. I feel guilty because my parents need the money and I want to help them but I can't get over my fear

  18. I’m starting my new job this Wednesday at an accountancy and payroll firm and I’m shitting bricks 🧱 . I’m Scared that I might mess up lmao!

  19. Yes, men intimidate me too lol they're so serious😣 Also, I had so much interviews now I just pretty much don't try hard and that helps ease the stiffness. & I think you've done well we need more sincerely kind ppl in customer service🙂

    Also, you might be a HSP Highly Sensitive Person/ Introvert🙂🤗

  20. I relate on every single thing you said. My anxiety is horrendous and I just got a new job at Walmart and I’m literally terrified, TERRIFIED, to go in every single day. I shake so bad and my heart races and hurts the entire time. Always. Before and after. It takes hours for me to calm down after a shift. It’s unbearable and I don’t know what to do anymore. I go to counseling and I take medication for it. It just controls my life and I hate it. Idk how I’m going get through life.

  21. I been really worry this days because I turn 17 and I'm almost 18 and never had a job and I want a job but I just don't know what kind of job I should get because I can't talk to people and I'm just so stressed

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